


Challenge Accepted

by Laurasauras



Series: AO3 Anniversary Flash Fiction [31]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: fanfic giveaway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-13
Packaged: 2019-07-11 18:32:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15978026
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Laurasauras/pseuds/Laurasauras
Summary: John finds that Equius has been trying to bring Mituna up to his level. He challenges him to get down on theirs.





	Challenge Accepted

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Meister (CruelInsanity)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CruelInsanity/gifts).



> ultistes-meister asked:
> 
> I believe I said the last one I sent would be the last, but of course I came up with more. The Heirs(John, Equius, Mituna) meeting and hanging out or something like that?

Callie tells you that your tendency to make friends fast and wander easily from group to group is a sign that you're very in touch with your aspect and is part of why you were a good leader for your session. You don't know about that, but you guess you do tend to spread out the John socials. Dave, Jade and Rose are still your special friends, but you don't like to think of anyone being left out.

When you see Equius and Mituna sitting together, an awkward few feet apart from one another, you feel the need to go and lighten the mood. Maybe you'll show them some magic tricks or something, it's usually a sure fire way to break the ice!

You sit down between them and smile broadly.

'Hi guys!' you say. 'What's up?'

'My bulge ith up!' Mituna cackles. 'Up your wastedchute!'

'Good one, Mituna,' you tell him. He dissolves into giggles so strong he falls over.

'I really don't think you should be encouraging him,' Equius says. 

You raise your eyebrows at him. You were so right to come over here.

'He was being very reasonable before you came. Not that you shouldn't have come, you can go wherever you wish.'

'Wan-nut to thuck my bulge?' Mituna asks. You're sure that if his face wasn't covered by hair and helmet he'd be waggling his eyebrows enthusiastically. Assuming he has eyebrows.

'No thanks! Still not gay!' you tell him. 'What were you guys talking about before I got here?'

Mituna blows a raspberry. Equius sighs. 

'I was teaching him how to conduct himself with more propriety.'

'I like the way he conducts—I mean, I like the way you conduct yourself, Mituna,' you say. 'Cronus is looking for someone to talk to if you wanted something more high brow, Equius.'

Equius blushes a deep blue and mutters under his breath about not wanting to disturb him.

'I'm not saying you should leave,' you say, nudging Equius cheerfully. 'Maybe you should try being more ...' You trail off, looking for a word.

'Lascivious!' Mituna says.

You and Equius gape at the way he didn't stumble over a single syllable. Mituna grins proudly.

'I wouldn't know where to start,' Equius says. But he's not saying no. Which means you have to think of a way to bring him down to your level.

'Back on Earth, my friends and I used to play the penis game, did you have anything like that on Alternia? We used to start saying penis, but then you have to say it louder than the person who went before you.'

Mituna and Equius look at you curiously. Surely by now someone has said penis in front of them, there are Daves everywhere.

Actually, come to think of it, you might have never heard him say the word penis. "Giggle rocket", once. "Yoghurt slinger" was a particularly bad one. "Karkat's favourite snack" traumatised you.

'Bulge might work too,' you say.

You see the moment when they both understand. 

'That's not a fun enough word,' Mituna says.

'You can choose the word, buddy!'

Equius shakes his head violently, but Mituna looks so happy! You made the right call.

'FUCK!' Mituna says, enthusiastically.

'Okay, cool, so now it's my turn,' you say. He sure set the bar high, starting off already shouting.

'FUCK!!' you shout.

You both look at Equius. He's blue all the way to his hair. You're just about to tell him he doesn't have to do anything he isn't comfortable with when he takes in a massive breath.

'FUUUUUUCK!' he screams.

You and Mituna are speechless for a few breaths, and then you burst out laughing.

'Was that correct?' Equius asks.

You nod while you try and stop the hysterical giggly sound you're making.

Out of the corner of your eye, you can see Kankri sprinting over to you and Dave giving you a thumbs up. You're actually crying with the force of your laughter.

'I believe we should hide before Kankri gets here,' Equius says, holding out his hands. You and Mituna grab them and he whisks you through the void to safety. 

'Again?' Mituna asks eagerly.


End file.
